I don’t know why I’m single
This is the third time someone on OkCupid has asked me how I got my job. I mean, really? How does anyone get a job. You either know someone or blow someone, amiright brah?
View ArticleMerf.
I’m way behind in posting shit I wrote that’s not in blog-form, perhaps because I’ve been too consumed by lighting myself on fire on the internet. Alas (but not a lack), here’s what you missed at SF...
View ArticleHaiku for Adulthood: (
#141 I want to hold you like parentheses, for once nothing between us. ________ #142 Skype sex? Can’t you masturbate to my Facebook photos like usual? ________ #143 First time for everything: rejected...
View ArticleMarch 10th: Get Some Tale
Bay Area Rockers! Come watch me read embarrassing OkCupid messages in a flat, yet bewildered tone next Thursday, March 10th at Fivepoints Arthouse. Guest appearances by the ran-stone cowgirl dude,...
View ArticleWhy I’ll Never Be An A-List OkCupid User
I got this message today from Alice, an OkCupid employee who I am curiously 100% compatible with (that’s never happened before. Also, you’d think sexual orientation would factor into their matching...
View ArticleHaiku for Adulthood: Online Dating
I feel like most of these could also be subtitles to a book that desperately needs to be written. #176 ‘Cause it’s easier to lie on the internet than to someone’s face. _____________ #177 You were so...
View ArticleHigh Waist Shorts Is Inspired
I’ve been getting a lot of spam lately on the blog, which means I’ve made it as a blogger, probably. The comments are always inane and riddled with non-English spambot typos, but their “names” are...
View ArticleHaiku for Adulthood: Here we go again
#223 Faith is knowing I’ve already lost you, and loving you anyway. _________ #224 It’s true–I crave your scapegoats. Such sting makes the present feel effortless. _________ #225 Some days, it seems...
View ArticleVIDEO: It’s Not Ok, OkCupid
In case you missed it, here’s a video of me reading terrible OkCupid messages at the Hazel 3 reading series and playing with my hair too much. Want more? Follow It’s Not Ok, OkCupid on Tumblr. Big ups...
View ArticleWhat to say in a first OkCupid message
Why do some online dating messages get replies and others fall flat? Partly it has to do with how well you present yourself in your profile, but there is actually a science to sending messages that get...
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